Sorry about the window. I wouldn't have been so punchy if you had simply apologized for making me abruptly leave my saddle. You see, when I'm riding my bike, I really hate dismounting for stupid reasons, and when you opened your door it was a little hard to avoid. To be fair, I swerved as much as I could in those few seconds, but my front wheel made pretty solid contact with the flung-wide-open door of your radical off-roadin' pickup. I remember thinking as I went over the left side of my bike and gracefully tumbled to the ground, "hmmm, maybe he's just clumsy or a little drunk, it's not so bad." But then you started cussing as I lay on the ground. You continued while I got back up and quickly looked over my bike.
I still wasn't upset yet. Then you called me a "fat piece of shit," which kind of frosted my cake.
That's when I noticed your window was rolled up on the door. It was such a nice evening, I thought maybe if your window was gone, you'd cool off a little. So I removed it for you. Sorry if it wasn't the friendliest way to say, "enjoy the warm evening," but your limited vocabulary of fuck, shit, cunt, and fag, all led me to believe you weren't much for words. If it's any constellation, my hand still hurts and has drawn a tad of blood.

Just remember next time, cyclists hate having to dismount needlessly: whether it's over the seat or over the handlebars.

Hope the window isn't as expensive as your dignity.

Cheers,
Max

Next time skip the window and go right for the face.

The only thing worse that an idiot, is an idiot bigot who causes harm to others.

You punched the window out? Bad ass. Shoulda kicked his ass though.

This tone of the first post is the epitome of Portland passive-aggressiveness...

You and I have the worst of luck, man. You've now freaked the fuck out of me twice with late night text messages detailing your getting hit by a car and now getting doored. Keven has the right idea - we're getting very drunk when she gets back. I'm so sorry that this happened and that people are such douchebags. Good work on the window.

But as for now, a night in with lots of movies and shitty junk food might just do the trick.

P.S. Which constellation are we taking about? I'm a sucker for astronomy.

submit that as an "i, anonymous". also, it's consolation. but send it in, i like it!

broseph.got.pwned

That's the third fat comment that day huh? Damn...